


Of serendipity, sex and secrets

by Gilrael



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - They Never Met in High School, Anal Sex, Awkward Flirting, BL mangaka Tenma, Blow Jobs, Casual Sex, Drunk Sex, Friends With Benefits To Lovers, Gay Bar, Haikyuu!! Manga Spoilers, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-16
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-24 05:47:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30067575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gilrael/pseuds/Gilrael
Summary: Just as Tenma was about to turn back around and order another gin and tonic, the door opened. The man who entered was on the taller side with broad shoulders and blond hair. He looked a little skittish, eyes nervously darting across the room and fingers fiddling with the collar of his button-up.Nowthatwas Tenma's type.~~~On a rare day off, Udai Tenma, who publishes BL manga under a pseudonym, takes the opportunity to go to his favourite gay bar in search of a one-night stand. He hooks up with Tsukishima Akiteru and they exchange numbers. Little does Tenma know that he accidentally became friends with benefits with one of his biggest fans...Written for the HQ!! NSFW Big Bang 2021. Accompanying illustration byIris.
Relationships: Tsukishima Akiteru/Udai Tenma
Comments: 2
Kudos: 21
Collections: Haikyuu!! NSFW Big Bang 2021, stories that touched me





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, I've been sitting on this fic for MONTHS now, and I am really excited to finally share it with everyone! The second chapter features lovely [fanart](https://twitter.com/kuehpng/status/1371709208442281986?s=20) by [Iris](https://twitter.com/kuehjpg). Please go and send her some love on Twitter, she deserves it.

It had been a while since Tenma had last seen a bar from the inside. Nowadays, he usually had at least two projects going on at once to stay afloat, leaving him with little time to rest and not enough energy to even think about going to a bar in the hopes of picking up a one-night stand. But the summer manga convention was over, and he'd sold out all of his newly printed doujinshi, so he'd decided that he could treat himself to a week off for once.

“Haven't seen you in a while, Udai-san,” Tashiro-kun said after Tenma ordered his usual gin and tonic. “Been busy?”

“It's my own fault for deciding to become a mangaka,” Tenma said, watching as Tashiro-kun mixed his drink. “You've got to draw every waking hour if you actually want to make money off of your work.”

“I'll stick to making drinks then, I guess,” Tashiro-kun said, neatly putting down the glass on the counter. Tenma took a sip, letting the gin and tonic linger on his tongue a bit before swallowing.

“How have things been at the bar recently? Any interesting gossip I don't know about?” Tenma asked, turning in his seat so he could survey the rest of the room. The bar was still fairly empty, but that would hopefully change once more people got off work.

“I mean, there was that incident with Ikejiri-kun and Daichi-kun...”

“Oh? Are they finally together then?”

They kept up their small talk, occasionally interrupted by someone ordering a drink. It wasn't like Tenma was actually all that invested in the lives of the regulars at the bar, but sometimes they could serve as good, real-life inspiration for manga. He prided himself in depicting authentic scenarios in his BL work, although admittedly, the sex scenes were a little exaggerated. But where was the fun in depicting a couple in the same two positions all the goddamn time?

Within the next hour, three guys tried to flirt with Tenma, but none of them were quite his type. He never really liked the pushy ones, or the ones who seemed to bathe in cologne, and especially not the ones who immediately put their hands on him without preamble.

“Why aren't there any cute guys around today?” Tenma complained as he finished his first drink.

“Maybe your standards are too high?” Tashiro-kun shot back, grinning.

“Maybe...” Tenma sighed and had another look around the room. Just as he was about to turn back around and order another gin and tonic, the door opened. The man who entered was on the taller side with broad shoulders and blond hair. He looked a little skittish, eyes nervously darting across the room and fingers fiddling with the collar of his button-up.

Now _that_ was Tenma's type. 

“Do you know this guy, Tashiro-kun?” he asked quietly.

“I haven't seen him before, no.”

Interesting. The man had another look around the room before carefully making his way to the counter.

“Erm, one draught beer, please,” he said. His voice was pleasantly deep.

“Is this your first time coming here?” Tenma asked, making the guy flinch.

“Ah, yes,” he said, laughing nervously. “It took me a while to work up the nerve to come inside, to be honest.”

“Oh, this is your first gay bar then?”

He looked a little flushed as he nodded.

“You know you can ignore Udai-san if he makes you uncomfortable,” Tashiro-kun said as he put down a glass of beer in front of the newcomer.

Tenma couldn't help the pout.

“Hey, don't ruin this for me! It's not every day that I get to meet someone as handsome as him!”

Now, the man was definitely blushing, but he didn't hesitate to sit down on the barstool next to Tenma.

“Thanks? I guess?”

“May I ask for your name?” Tenma said, turning on his barstool so he was facing the guy he'd hopefully be bedding tonight.

“You... you can call me Akiteru...”

“Hmm, a pretty name for a handsome guy.”

“Would you please stop calling me handsome? It's a little embarrassing,” Akiteru-san mumbled before taking a sip of beer.

“You'll have to get used to it if you want to continue coming to places like these,” Tenma said, grinning. “There are plenty of guys who are even more aggressive with their flirting habits than I am. There'll be guys who'll just see you as another piece of meat.”

“And you don't?” Akiteru-san raised an eyebrow.

“Well, I actually want my partners to enjoy their time with me, so there's that?”

Akiteru-san hummed and took another sip of his drink. Tenma reached for his own glass, only to realise that all that was left was some ice. He contemplated ordering another gin and tonic but decided against it. If he actually managed to get anywhere with Akiteru-san, he'd prefer being fairly sober, so he ordered oolong tea instead.

“So what do you do in your free time aside from hanging around gay bars and chatting up strangers?” Akiteru-san asked.

“I don't really get much spare time in my line of work. It's what happens when you turn your hobby into your profession,” Tenma said, deliberately keeping the details of his job vague. He didn't want to have to explain that he mainly drew stories that were marketed towards women despite featuring gay romance. “Basically, I spend most of my time working or sleeping. How about you?”

“Oh, I play volleyball, and I like reading.”

“Volleyball? I used to play in high school,” Tenma said, letting his eyes wander. Akiteru-san did look like he spent a significant amount of time working out. “Which position do you play?”

“I'm a wing spiker.”

They continued talking about volleyball for a bit, which made Akiteru-san visibly relax. He was less fidgety and smiled more.

“Has anyone ever told you that you look cute when you smile?” Tenma asked, once again managing to make Akiteru-san blush.

“N-no?” he stuttered.

“You're even cuter when you're flustered.”

Akiteru-san took a deep breath and straightened his shoulders.

“Has anyone ever told _you_ that you're too much, Udai-san?”

“Yes, Tashiro-kun tells me that all the time,” Tenma replied with a grin. For some reason, Akiteru-san laughed.

“At least you're honest,” he said.

“Well, now it's your turn to be honest,” Tenma said, leaning in a little closer. “Do you actually mind me flirting with you? Because if you're uncomfortable, I'll stop trying to get into your pants.”

Once again, Akiteru-san's pretty brown eyes started flitting around, from Tenma's face to the glass of beer in front of him and further down to his hands in his lap.

“I... I'm not used to this, but I'm not disinterested in you...”

_Nice_ , Tenma thought, careful not to outwardly show his enthusiasm. Being upfront with his intentions was one thing, but he didn't want to appear desperate. 

“I'm your type then?”

“I couldn't even tell you what my type is. Though, I guess I like people who are a little more outgoing.” Akiteru-san shrugged. “Since you've been flirting with me, I take it I'm your type?”

“Absolutely,” Tenma replied. “Handsome face, nice physique, pleasant-sounding voice, a little on the shy side – you tick all my boxes.”

Akiteru-san seemed to take that as his cue to down the rest of his beer in one go.

“Soooo, since you said that you're not uninterested in me, would you like to order another drink and continue being subjected to my attempts at flirting, or would you rather ditch this place and go to a hotel where we can get a little more comfortable?”

The blush on Akiteru-san's face, which had become a permanent feature, deepened almost immediately.

“I...” he started and immediately stopped again, turning his empty glass in his hands and wiping off some larger water droplets. “It's not like I don't have any experience with guys, but I'm not sure I...” He took a deep breath. “I'm not sure if what I have to offer will be satisfying for you.”

Tenma chuckled.

“I'm sure we can find a way to make it work for both of us. We can just make out for a bit and see where things take us.”

Akiteru-san furrowed his brows as he contemplated Tenma's words.

“Okay,” he said, getting up from his stool. “But let me go use the restroom real quick before we leave.”

“Sure,” Tenma said, grinning from ear to ear and immediately waving down the bartender. “Tashiro-kun, I'll be paying for his drink as well.”

“It's a mystery to me how you ever manage to get laid, really,” Tashiro-kun said, shaking his head.

“Honestly? Same.”

***

Akiteru-san was a lot of things – handsome, hesitant, shy – but he was not clumsy in bed. This obviously wasn't the first time he was with someone, and he'd clearly been selling himself short when he'd said that he wouldn't be able to offer much. His kisses were gentle yet demanding, and he wasted no time pulling Tenma down onto the bed with him as soon as Tenma settled into his lap.

Tenma couldn't remember when he last spent so much time making out with a guy without properly taking off any clothes. He felt transported back to his university days when he'd first dared to experiment with a senpai from his department. He could've continued on like this for another hour, but his jeans were getting uncomfortably tight. As he shifted his weight a little, he realised that Akiteru-san was in a similar predicament.

“So, what are your preferences?” Tenma asked breathlessly. “Top? Bottom? Blowjobs? Handjobs?”

For a moment, Akiteru-san looked up at him like a deer in headlights, eyes wide and mouth hanging slightly open.

“I don't know. W-what do you want to do?” he asked, licking his lips.

“I don't care as long as it involves getting rid of our clothes first,” Tenma replied truthfully.

“I– I'd like to top, I think...”

Tenma leaned down for another kiss before standing up and removing his hoodie and t-shirt. Akiteru-san hastily followed suit, not bothering to unbutton his shirt all the way and almost getting stuck in the process of pulling it over his head.

Once they were down to their underwear, Tenma grabbed one of the sachets of lube from the bedside table.

“Do you want to do the honours, or should I prepare myself?” he asked, turning back towards Akiteru-san who was throwing his boxer shorts aside, revealing a rather sizeable erection.

Akiteru-san swallowed audibly, his eyes busy taking in all of Tenma's body.

“I'll do it!” he said, determination ringing in every syllable.

_Well, this is going to be fun_ , Tenma thought, shedding his own underwear and crawling onto the bed. He grabbed one of the pillows, shoving it under his lower back to make things a little more comfortable. 

“Go ahead then,” Tenma said, provocatively spreading his legs. Immediately, Akiteru-san moved into position, leaning over for another languid kiss, before he opened the packet of lube and coated the fingers of his right hand with it.

A shudder ran through Tenma's body when Akiteru-san started circling his finger around his hole. It had been a while since anyone else had touched him down there – hell, it had been ages since he'd had sex at all – which was making him extra sensitive and touch-starved.

“Can I?” Akiteru-san asked, maybe a little unnecessarily, but Tenma preferred his cautious behaviour to the guys who'd just do whatever they wanted with no regard for the person bottoming for them.

“Yeah.”

He breathed in and out slowly as Akiteru-san pushed his finger in at a maddeningly slow pace.

“You can go faster, you know? This isn't my first time,” Tenma sighed.

“O-okay. Like this?”

It took a little bit of coaxing to get Akiteru-san to do this the way Tenma liked, but when he finally figured it out, it was more than just satisfying. With two fingers scissoring inside him and applying just the right amount of pressure on his prostate, Tenma soon turned into a writhing mess. When Akiteru-san added a third finger without prompting, a particularly potent shiver ran down Tenma's spine.

“Oh my _god_ ,” Tenma moaned, reaching out for another packet of lube and a condom from the bedside table. He threw them at Akiteru-san who caught them awkwardly with his left hand.

“So, enough?” he asked with wide eyes.

“Yes, I want your cock inside of me,” Tenma said, hoping to make his desires one-hundred per cent clear, giving Akiteru-san not a single reason to hesitate.

Akiteru-san carefully pulled out his fingers, leaving Tenma feeling empty as he fumbled with the condom and lube. By the time he'd ripped the condom wrapper open, Tenma had lost all of his patience, getting up on his knees and grabbing the condom to do the rest himself. Soon, he climbed into Akiteru-san's lap, slowly lowering himself onto his dick with his eyes closed and sucking in a sharp breath when it rubbed over his prostate. Once the whole length was inside, Tenma opened his eyes again, and a pair of warm brown eyes were looking right back at him. He didn't know what to make of the expression on Akiteru-san's face. He was staring at Tenma as if he was appreciating a piece of art. It was flattering in a way, but Tenma hadn't taken Akiteru-san to a hotel to be admired – they'd come here to fuck. So he lifted himself up a little before moving back down. Instantly, two large hands grabbed onto his hips, helping the movement along.

“You are absolutely _stunning_ ,” Akiteru-san whispered as he leaned in to trail kisses all over Tenma's neck and collarbones. And then he let himself fall back onto his back and started thrusting his hips upward, meeting Tenma's movements.

The angle was perfect, and the size and shape of Akiteru-san's cock filled him up so _good_...

“Oh, _fuck_!” Tenma exclaimed as Akiteru-san wrapped a hand around his length, jerking him off in time with the thrusting of his hips. With only a few strokes, he came all over Akiteru-san's stomach. His legs felt like jelly, but he wasn't done yet.

“More,” he said breathlessly and flopped over onto the side. He whimpered as Akiteru-san's hard dick slid out of him. “Fuck me into the mattress.”

“S-sure,” Akiteru-san replied, rearranging their positions so Tenma was lying with his chest pressed onto the sheets and his ass up in the air. After his orgasm, he was particularly sensitive to Akiteru-san's thrusts. He couldn't help the noises that spilled over his lips, and as Akiteru-san's movements became more erratic, he came closer and closer to another climax.

“ _More_ ,” he moaned, his mind blissfully focused on the pleasure surging through him. “Just a little...”

“U-udai-san...” Akiteru-san groaned. Tenma could feel him spilling inside the condom, and that was enough to send him over the edge, too, his vision going white, legs shaking at the force of his release. Once again, he flopped over to the side, trying to avoid the puddle of his own cum. He wanted to say something to fill the silence that had suddenly settled over them, but Tenma was having a hard time stringing together words to form coherent sentences. So instead, he watched as Akiteru-san took care of the condom, tying it up and throwing it in the bin.

“We should probably get cleaned up before we leave,” Tenma eventually said, although he didn't feel like moving at all. Seemingly able to read minds, Akiteru-san offered to wet a towel for him.

Once they had wiped themselves off and put on their clothes, Akiteru-san pulled out his phone.

“Erm, w-would you like to exchange Line IDs?” he asked. “I mean, maybe we could do this again sometime...”

“Sure!” Tenma grinned. All he'd wanted out of his visit to the bar had been a one-night stand, but Akiteru-san was his type and a decent lay. Why would he deny himself the joy of having sex with him again?

***

Soon, they ended up in a relationship that Tenma could only describe as friends-with-benefits. After exchanging text messages, it had become significantly easier to talk to Akiteru-san. He still turned into a blushing mess whenever Tenma complimented him, but he was less focused on getting Tenma to stop doing it. All in all, Akiteru-san was fun to be around in and out of bed, and by the fourth time they met up at the bar, Tenma actually felt comfortable enough around him to get properly drunk. They had three drinks each before Tenma suggested that they change locations. Akiteru-san's entire face lit up at the suggestion. If Tenma was to draw a facial expression like this for a manga, he would've probably added dog ears and a tail to drive home how excited Akiteru-san seemed to be. 

They opened the bar doors and were greeted by pouring rain.

“Do you have an umbrella?” Tenma asked, pulling the hood of his jacket over his messy hair.

“Er, no,” Akiteru-san said, frowning.

“Well, it's not like the hotel is far from here, so let's just run for it!”

Without another word of warning, Tenma took off, and Akiteru-san followed. It had been years since Tenma last went for a proper run – the alcohol didn't help either – so he was wheezing by the time they arrived at the love hotel. Akiteru-san wasn't even out of breath.

_Damn athletes_ , Tenma thought as Akiteru-san stepped up to the screen to book a room. 

“Er, there are no rooms available.”

“Damnit,” Tenma said. His jeans were already soaked, and he'd been looking forward to a hot shower.

“Is there another love hotel around this area we could go to?” Akiteru-san asked, rubbing his hands over the wet fabric of his sweater.

“The other two don't allow gay couples to go inside for some bullshit homophobic reason,” Tenma grumbled at the prospect of having to ride the train home in wet clothes.

“Well... This might be a little forward of me, but...” Akiteru-san scratched the back of his head again, eyes fixed on his shoes. “My flat is within walking distance from here. We could just...”

“I'm in.” Tenma didn't even have to wait for Akiteru-san to finish the sentence. He didn't particularly care where they went as long as it involved getting a chance to warm up and have sex.

“Should we make another run for it, or stop by a corner shop and get umbrellas?” Akiteru-san asked.

“Umbrellas, please. I'd rather get in my daily exercise in bed.”

The chuckle that escaped Akiteru-san's throat paired with how he shyly scratched the back of his neck made Tenma want to drag him into the next deserted alley to ravage him, but he wasn't going to risk getting arrested for public indecency.

Instead, he kept up a constant stream of innuendo as they picked up two umbrellas at the corner shop, making sure to make eye contact with Akiteru-san as he added a pack of condoms into their shopping basket. When he moved to also grab some lube, Akiteru-san quickly shook his head.

“I have plenty at home,” he said, face bright red. Tenma grinned in response. He was going to have so much fun tonight.

***

Tenma would've loved to get into the shower together to rile Akiteru-san up something fierce before they even reached the bed, but sadly, Akiteru-san's bathroom was so tiny that getting frisky in the shower would've most likely resulted in injuries. Instead, he got into the shower first and then ended up waiting in Akiteru-san's room, wearing nothing but a towel wrapped around his hips. It could've been worse, really. At least this gave Tenma a chance to assess Akiteru-san's living space. Somewhere he'd read that you could learn a lot about a person's personality by the books on their shelves, so he let his eyes wander across the rather impressive collection of books Akiteru-san had amassed in his small flat. He clearly had been serious when he mentioned that he enjoyed reading in his spare time. There was a bunch of everything – from serious literary fiction over old university textbooks to shounen manga classics. And then Tenma noticed an incredibly familiar title stuck between a dictionary and a photography book.

“No way,” he whispered, stepping in closer to make sure he'd actually read the kanji right.

_Longing, Lust and Lost Love by Tsuji Sora_

Tenma had expected to find a lot of things on the bookshelves of a guy he randomly hooked up with one day, but his own manga wasn't one of them. And now that he had spotted one, he quickly found a bunch of his other works, including some of his earliest doujinshi that had only had a single print run for a more obscure convention. He'd first started publishing his work online under a pseudonym, and he'd never thought that Tsuji Sora would become a well-known name in the BL manga community, but he'd gotten lucky. Being a mangaka wasn't an easy career – far from it, actually – but he loved it anyway.

Seeing his short comic about the protagonist of his favourite shounen anime getting rawed on the shelf of his friend-with-benefits was a little unsettling, though. Before Tenma could think too deeply about the implications of this discovery, he heard Akiteru-san open the bathroom door. He looked way too sexy for Tenma to think about anything other than getting his hands on those toned muscles.

“Sorry,” Akiteru-san said, stray droplets of water running down his neck from his still-damp hair and drawing Tenma's eyes towards his collarbones, “I hope I didn't make you wait too long, but I wanted to prep a little...”

“Prep for what?”

“Well, last time you said something about liking both topping and bottoming? So I– I thought maybe I could try bottoming this time...”

Ignoring the fact that Akiteru-san owned most of Tenma's published works was a foolish decision that Tenma would most likely regret once he was completely sober again. Maybe Akiteru-san knew who he was. It would explain how fidgety he was around Tenma. Maybe he was a stalker or something. Tenma had been getting more and more relaxed about the whole “separating the Tsuji Sora persona from himself” thing, and maybe he'd slipped up and revealed too much on Twitter. Or maybe it was all just a stupid coincidence, and Akiteru-san had no idea.

“I'll make sure you'll have the time of your life,” Tenma promised, shoving any paranoia about Akiteru-san's motives aside as he stepped in close and pulled Akiteru-san down for a kiss. He'd gone out to have a good time, and for fuck's sake, he wasn't going to let anything get in the way of it.

So instead of worrying, he just let himself go and enjoy the moment. Akiteru-san was a wonderfully responsive bottom, guttural moans rumbling past his lips whenever Tenma did something he found particularly pleasurable. By the time Tenma had worked three fingers inside of him and had his mouth wrapped around his dick, the moans had slowly turned into pleading whimpers.

“Please, just... I  _ want _ ... Hng...”

Giving Akiteru-san's erection one final lick, Tenma sat up.

“I'll give you anything you want, you just need to tell me properly,” he said, smirking.

Akiteru-san's eyelids immediately fluttered open. 

“I want you to fuck me.”

That was all Tenma needed to hear. Gently, he pulled out his fingers and grabbed the newly bought box of condoms. Soon enough he was thrusting into the tight warmth of Akiteru-san's ass, relishing in the way Akiteru-san writhed beneath him. Tenma let his hands wander across his partner's sculpted torso, taking pleasure in the way Akiteru-san would twitch around him whenever his fingers touched his sensitive sides. 

“Just... a little...  _more_ ,” Akiteru-san pleaded, wrapping a hand around his neglected cock, and Tenma wasn't going to deny him anything. Akiteru-san gasped as Tenma grabbed his hips, driving into him harder and faster until Akiteru-san's muscles convulsed around him, cum splattering over their bellies. After that, it only took a couple more thrusts for Tenma to reach his own climax with a satisfied groan. 

“That was way better than I expected,” Akiteru-san said, lazily grabbing for the tissues on his bedside table as Tenma got up to discard the condom.

“What did you expect?” Tenma asked, sitting down on the edge of the bed.

“I don't know.” Akiteru-san shrugged and wiped away the worst of the mess on his abs. “You're just a lot better at this than the two guys I've been with before. You're more attentive, I guess?”

“Is that why you're so... nervous?” Tenma couldn't think of a better word.

“Nah, I just get flustered easily.” Akiteru-san chuckled. “And you're really good at flustering me. You remind me of a character in my favourite manga.”

“I do?” Tenma asked, suddenly wary. “What's the manga called?”

“It's kinda embarrassing,” Akiteru-san muttered, covering his face with his hands. “It's basically pure smut, and I don't think you'll know it anyway.”

“Try me. I know my way around the gei komi scene.”

“It's BL, though,” Akiteru-san admitted.

“I'm also familiar with BL.”

Tenma had no idea why he was prying so much. He could've just let this go and lived in blissful ignorance.

“Do you know Tsuji Sora's _Longing, Lust and Lost Love_? It's brilliant. The characters are well-developed, the art style is beautiful and the sex scenes are really hot. And there's this one character, Hiroshi-san, and he's always kinda horny, but he cares so much about his partner.” Akiteru-san sighed dreamily. “I could go on and on forever about this manga. I should probably just lend it to you, so you can read it for yourself.”

In the twenty-eight years of his life, Tenma had never experienced a situation quite as surreal as his friend-with-benefits recommending his own manga to him. He probably should've told the truth, but instead, Tenma went home with Akiteru-san's copy of the manga that night, because he had absolutely no idea how to even broach the topic.


	2. Chapter 2

“These seem fine to me,” Akaashi-san said, flipping through the thumbnails of the tankoubon extras Tenma had printed out for their meeting. “Any progress on the character designs for the next project?”

A deep sigh escaped Tenma's throat. He was spending too much time with Akiteru-san, and it was showing in his work. He'd drawn and redrawn the same character from his next story countless times, and with every iteration, he was looking more and more like Akiteru-san. This was a terrible idea, and Tenma knew it, but he opened the file on his iPad anyway and slid it over so Akaashi-san could see it.

“Oh, I like his build,” Akaashi-san said, zooming in and out on the different parts of the character sheet. “Judging from the facial expressions you've drawn, he's the virgin who gets picked up in the park?”

“Yep,” Tenma said tersely. “I'm not sure I like this design, though.”

Akaashi-san frowned and pushed his glasses up with his index finger.

“Why, if I may ask? I personally don't see anything wrong with it.”

_Because I've been sleeping with a guy who looks exactly like this for two months now, and he still doesn't know that I drew his favourite manga of all time, and he'll freak the fuck out if he finds out, and he'll immediately realise what's been going on when he sees that I've been using him as inspiration for my newest manga._

Tenma groaned and leaned back in his chair.

“It's a long story.”

“Does it involve your love life?”

“Kinda.”

“Then get it together and don't let it affect your work, Udai-sensei,” Akaashi-san said matter-of-factly.

Heaving another sigh, Tenma straightened his back again.

“I'll try.”

“Good,” Akaashi-san said, handing back Tenma's tablet. “There's one last thing I wanted to speak to you about today. My boss mentioned that an LGBT+ bookshop in Shinjuku has expressed interest in hosting a book signing event for some of our BL and GL authors and mangaka. I'm aware that you might not want to show your face what with the pseudonym and all, but the timing would be perfect for the tankoubon release of _Not Your Typical Love Affair_. Would you be interested?”

Tenma had mostly chosen to publish his work under a pseudonym so random people from his hometown wouldn't stumble across it and associate it with him. The likelihood of any of them going to some queer bookshop in Tokyo of all places was tiny. More importantly, when was he ever going to get another opportunity to promote his manga like that? This was too good an offer to pass up.

“Can I wear a facemask or something?”

“Sure.”

“Then I'm in.”

***

There really was no good reason to keep his profession a secret from Akiteru-san. At least Tenma couldn't come up with one. But whenever he thought about just telling Akiteru-san that he was the artist behind _Longing, Lust and Lost Love_ and all those other mangas on his bookshelf, he was overcome by anxiety. Akiteru-san would definitely be flustered around him again, but was that anything new? Tenma quite enjoyed seeing him all flushed and wide-eyed. Maybe he'd be mad that Tenma hadn't mentioned it; maybe he would feel like Tenma was taking advantage of him.

Maybe, maybe, _maybe_. For someone who occupied this much of Tenma's brain space, Akiteru-san was still a huge mystery. Tenma knew how he could get the answers to all of his questions, but he didn't feel ready to face the consequences of communication.

And so he threw himself into work. He was still on schedule, but he told himself that it was better to work up a buffer just in case. He continued to text Akiteru-san, but whenever he was asked to meet up, he declined, citing half-truths about deadlines. Imagining Akiteru-san's disappointed facial expression hurt every single time, and working on the story for the new manga didn't help in the slightest. Tenma didn't want to hurt Akiteru-san's lookalike, and he didn't want to hurt Akiteru-san, and he was being a stupid fucking coward, wasn't he?

“Yes, you are,” Akaashi-san said, setting down his cup of coffee once Tenma was done explaining why he was having so much trouble planning his next series. “But I'm your editor, not your therapist. All I can tell you is that I think you are acting like an idiot and that you should actually talk to him if you like him that much.”

Sighing, Tenma poured another packet of sugar into his coffee, stirring it a little too violently and splashing some onto the table.

“I do like him, don't I?” he muttered, wiping away the droplets of coffee with a napkin before they could stain the storyboard printouts with Akaashi-san's comments on them. “I can't remember the last time I missed spending time with someone, and not just because of the sex.”

Not that he didn't miss the sex – just last night he'd had a vivid dream about having Akiteru-san on his knees in front of him, eagerly sucking his dick like his life depended on it – but he also missed the hours spent talking at the bar, making Akiteru-san smile and laugh and blush and... Oh fuck, he was actually in _love_.

“You should just tell him the truth and ask him out on an actual date once you are back from Tokyo.”

“Oh, right. I have a train to catch tomorrow morning,” Tenma realised, looking down at his phone for the time. “I should probably go back home and pack my things.”

Akaashi-san nodded.

“We can talk some more about this mess of a storyboard on the train tomorrow.”

Tenma grimaced.

“Right. Work is still a thing that exists.”

***

Tabling at a tiny convention and selling illustrations and doujinshi of popular shounen anime was the only experience Tenma had dealing with people who considered themselves fans of his work (accidentally falling into the bed with one of his fans didn't count). Sitting at a table next to two other queer mangakas at a bookshop that was decked out in pride flags and had shelves full of LGBT+ literature was another beast entirely. There was a queue of people lined up to meet him and his colleagues, and it was as exhilarating as it was nerve-racking. Some just waited quietly as they got their manga signed, others asked questions about what their next projects would be, and then there were the people who told heartfelt stories about how reading BL and GL manga made them feel seen and appreciated in a way they hadn't before.

“I'm looking forward to your next publication, Tsuji-sensei!” a girl with bright pink hair said, bowing as Tenma handed back her freshly signed copy of _Not Your Typical Love Affair_.

“Thank you,” was all Tenma managed to say in the face of her earnest enthusiasm. Ninety per cent of what he drew was smut. How could any of these people be so nonchalant about enjoying his manga?

“It was a pleasure to get to meet you!” the pink-haired girl said and walked away from the table with a slight spring in her step, reconvening with her friend who'd gotten her book signed five minutes earlier.

Tenma had a quick look down at his phone to check what time it was. This event was more tiring than he had anticipated, and there was still over an hour left to go. He definitely was going to fall straight into his hotel bed tonight.

Suddenly, his thoughts were interrupted by a very familiar voice saying his name. His _actual name_.

“Udai-san?”

Akiteru-san's words were barely louder than a whisper, and yet they rang in Tenma's ears as if someone had struck a temple bell right in front of his face.

So what if he was wearing a mask? Of course, someone who'd become intimately acquainted with his entire body would recognise him. And of course, Akiteru-san would end up coming to a launch event to meet his favourite mangaka. Tenma should've known better, should've told Akaashi-san that he wasn't ready for something like this, should've... He should've just told Akiteru-san the truth from the start.

“Er, hello!” Tenma said, trying to keep the panic from colouring his voice.

“H-hello,” Akiteru-san stuttered in response, clearly making an effort to school his facial expression and failing spectacularly. “C-could you please sign my copy for me? The... The name's Tsukishima Akiteru, with the characters for 'moon island' and 'bright light'.”

“Of course!” Tenma replied, hastily grabbing the manga out of Akiteru-san's hands. His fingers suddenly felt stiff and clammy, making him drop his pen on the floor. “Whoops!”

He quickly leant down to pick up his pen, using the brief moment in which he didn't have Akiteru-san's eyes on him to collect himself. He had to make things right. He had to actually talk to Akiteru-san as soon as possible – preferably somewhere private.

“Sorry about that, I'll sign your book now!”

Up to now, Tenma had just written the person's name, “thank you for enjoying my manga!” and then signed with his pseudonym, but this wasn't going to cut it. Not for Akiteru-san and not in this situation. So in addition, he quickly grabbed a sheet of paper and scrawled out a hasty message to slip between the pages.

_Dear Akiteru-san,_

_I never knew how to tell you about any of “this,” but I guess it's time to talk. Please meet me outside of the shop in two hours, though I understand if you don't wish to have anything to do with me from now on._

_Udai Tenma_

***

As far as editors went, Tenma was glad that he had ended up being put in Akaashi-san's care for the last two years. Not only was he competent at his job despite his young age, but he was also understanding of Tenma having to skip out on going for drinks with the bookshop staff and the other authors so he could have an extremely uncomfortable conversation with his friend-with-benefits. Any other editor would've probably forced Tenma to attend the drinking party instead of telling him to go and make things right with Akiteru-san.

Stepping out of the shop, Tenma was muttering under his breath.

“Please be there, please be there, _please_...”

Once again he was being plagued by maybes. He hadn't received any kind of message from Akiteru-san confirming that he had read Tenma's note. Maybe Akiteru-san had already bought train tickets back to their hometown and couldn't stay. Maybe he just flat out didn't want to talk to Tenma ever again. Either way, anxiety had Tenma tight in its grip until he spotted the familiar mop of blond hair on the other side of the road.

“Hey,” Tenma said, pulling off his mask as he crossed the street.

“Hey,” Akiteru-san replied stiffly. “I did not expect to meet you today.”

Tenma winced.

“I should've known you would show up, and uh, do you mind if we take this conversation somewhere private? I'm sharing a room with my editor in a hotel near here. He's going out for drinks and won't be back for a bit.”

Akiteru-san raised a single brow.

“So we are going to _talk_ in a hotel room?”

“I'm sorry, I...” Tenma sighed. He really hadn't thought any of this through had he? He thought he'd left his more impulsive side behind in high school, and yet here he was. “I swear that I really want to talk. And explain.”

“Sure. Lead the way.”

The short walk to the hotel dragged on in awkward silence. A couple of times, Tenma opened his mouth, trying to come up with some meaningless small talk, but he couldn't think of a single thing to say. So he stayed quiet until they entered the hotel room.

“Make yourself comfortable,” he said, pointing at the bed he had claimed as his own while sitting down on the edge of Akaashi-san's bed so he could face Akiteru-san as they talked.

“So... you are Tsuji Sora, the BL mangaka,” Akiteru-san said, frowning.

“Er, yeah, I am,” Tenma admitted, shrugging helplessly. “Look, I never meant to keep it a secret from you, but then you went and talked about how _Longing, Lust and Lost Love_ is your favourite manga of all time, and I just had no idea how to bring it up without making things awkward. You even own some of my most obscure doujinshi! The really bad old ones that I only printed fifteen copies of for a con! I don't even know how you managed to get your hands on those.”

“Er, eBay,” Akiteru-san mumbled, face flushed. “And they're not bad, just... You've improved a lot since then, and I like seeing an artist's growth! I swear I'm not a stalker, though!”

“Why would I think you're a stalker?” Tenma asked, feeling flattered and confused at the same time. He might have considered the possibility for a moment, but he'd dismissed it immediately because nothing about Akiteru-san's behaviour seemed stalker-ish.

“Because I own literally everything you have ever published and follow you on Pixiv and Twitter, and I somehow accidentally managed to run into you at a bar and have sex with you, and then asked for your Line, and–”

“No, no, no!” Tenma interrupted, shaking his head for emphasis. “I am the creepy one! You're my fan, and I continued to have casual sex with you while knowing that instead of telling you about my work!”

For a moment they both just stared at each other until Akiteru-san suddenly let himself fall back onto the mattress, hiding his face behind his hands.

“Oh my god, I had sex with Tsuji Sora without even realising!” he whined, voice muffled by his palms.

“I'd rather you go back to calling me Udai-san, or Tenma even. Tsuji Sora is just a pen name.”

“You don't get it!” Akiteru-san said, pushing himself up by his elbows. “There's so much kinky stuff in your manga, Udai-san! How would I ever be able to satisfy you? I don't have any experience!”

“That's what you're worried about?” Tenma had to laugh; he just couldn't help himself. “I've only ever tried half of the stuff I've drawn in real life. Hell, I don't even know if some of that shit is even possible! You're absolutely fantastic in bed, and...” Fuck it. He'd come this far, so he might as well go all out. “I like you. As in, I'd like for you to be my boyfriend.”

Well, there it was, out in the open, and Akiteru-san said nothing. He just sat there with his mouth hanging slightly open, staring at Tenma.

“I mean... I feel like we'd be good together,” Tenma added hastily, realising that what he'd said may have come off like he just wanted to date him for the sex. “I enjoy spending time with you at the bar, and talking to you about volleyball, and making you laugh at my stupid jokes.” He shrugged. “And I get that it might be weird to think about dating someone who draws porn for a living, but I promise that I'll treat you right! I'll– Wait. Are you crying?”

Akiteru-san quickly lifted up his arm to wipe the tears away with the sleeve of his hoodie before a sudden sob shook his body.

“I... I'd love to... be your... boy _friend_.” His voice cracked on the last syllable.

“Then why are you crying?” Tenma asked, panic seeping into his own voice as he jumped off of Akaashi-san's bed to sit down next to Akiteru-san. This was not the reaction he'd expected.

“I... I get... emotional...” Akiteru-san laughed through the tears, and it was the most adorable sound Tenma had heard in his entire life.

“Should I kiss the tears away?” Tenma asked and wriggled his eyebrows, though his attempt to further lighten the mood appeared to fall flat.

“This feels surreal.”

“Yeah, I didn't think I'd ever end up dating a fan either,” Tenma said with a sigh.

“It's not just that,” Akiteru-san said, shaking his head and once again wiping his face with his sleeve. “When I first met you, I thought... Well, you didn't seem like the type of guy to commit to a relationship? And I– I just went along with it because I was desperate for some human contact, I guess. I didn't expect that I'd end up liking you so much, but I did, and... I didn't dare to hope for more than something casual.”

Tenma's chest was ready to burst with emotions.

“That's all I wanted at first, but...” He put his arm around Akiteru-san's waist, pulling him close. “I fell for you anyway.”

Akiteru-san looked down at him with the same kind of wonder Tenma had seen in his eyes when they'd had their first encounter. How could Tenma not have fallen in love with someone who looked at him like this?

“Can I ki–” Akiteru-san started but was interrupted by Tenma's phone ringing loudly in his pocket. Usually, Tenma would've just turned his phone off and ignored it, but it was his work ringtone.

“Give me a moment,” he groaned before picking up. “Yes?”

“Hello, Udai-san, this is Akaashi speaking,” his editor said. “I just wanted to ask about how things went.”

“We were just about to kiss, but you interrupted us,” Tenma grumbled, not in the mood to beat around the bush.

“Excellent. In that case, you can have the hotel room for yourselves tonight. I'll just stay over at my partners' house instead and pick you guys up in the morning so we can catch the train home together.”

Tenma wasn't sure whether he wanted to strangle or hug Akaashi-san, so he just said thanks and hung up again.

“What?” Akiteru-san blinked in confusion.

“My editor called to tell me that he won't be returning to this room tonight,” Tenma explained, grinning from ear to ear. “You wanted to ask me if you can kiss me, right? The answer is anytime you want.”

A slight smile tugged on the corners of Akiteru-san's mouth as he leant in closer for the kiss. His lips were quivering slightly, and he pulled back too soon for Tenma's liking, but it still felt like a soothing balm on his soul. Why had he ever thought that avoiding Akiteru-san would be a good move? He'd been missing out on kisses like this for _weeks_ , and he had _needs_.

“I know I said we were going to talk in the hotel room, but I think I've said my piece, so... How about we have some fun now?”

The chuckle that escaped Akiteru-san's throat was like music to Tenma's ears.

“It makes so much sense that you would write a character like Hiroshi-san,” Akiteru-san said, reaching out to cup Tenma's face in his hands.

“The top in my newest story looks a whole lot like you. Just so you know,” Tenma responded with a smirk. “Though I might be able to persuade Akaashi-san to let me change the storyboard so the couple actually switches up positions because you also make for a great bottom.”

Once again, Tenma had managed to turn Akiteru-san's face the brightest shade of red.

“Thanks for giving me a heads-up, I guess?”

“I could also give you head?”

Akiteru-san made a choked noise somewhere between laughter and a groan but didn't say anything. Instead, he leant forward for another kiss. He still seemed a little shaky and out of it, so Tenma decided to take things slowly tonight. They had all the time in the world, and he was going to make sure that Akiteru-san felt cared for.

“Do you want to take a bath? The tub is a little small, but we should be able to squeeze in together,” Tenma suggested, brushing his fingers through Akiteru-san's hair.

“Okay.”

***

The bath was definitely a good idea. Tenma could feel Akiteru-san's muscles relax in the hot water as he leaned back against Akiteru-san's broad chest. It was a little cramped, but it also gave Tenma a good excuse to have his hands all over Akiteru-san, so he didn't mind at all. Again and again, he let his fingers slide along the sensitive insides of Akiteru-san's thighs, grinning to himself when he heard Akiteru-san catch his breath in response.

“You really enjoy riling me up, don't you?” Akiteru-san asked, shifting his position behind Tenma so his growing erection wasn't all pressed up against Tenma's back.

“Yep!” Tenma said cheerfully, twisting his torso and head until he could place a kiss on Akiteru-san's lips. Akiteru-san immediately wrapped his arms around Tenma, holding him close as they continued to make out. After a while, Tenma turned around completely, kneeling between Akiteru-san's legs and wrapping his fingers around Akiteru-san's dick. He moved his hand in slow strokes, swallowing the moans that slipped past Akiteru-san's lips with kisses and gasping when Akiteru-san suddenly manhandled him until he was seated in his lap, their dicks rubbing against each other.

“This feels amazing,” Tenma muttered in between increasingly sloppy kisses. He gasped as Akiteru-san wrapped both of his hands around them. He didn't last much longer after that, shuddering as he came into the warm bath water, but Akiteru-san was still achingly hard.

“Get out of the water and sit on the edge of the tub.”

Akiteru-san quickly followed Tenma's instructions, who in turn wasted no time and immediately took Akiteru-san's dick into his mouth as deep as he possibly could, covering the rest of the length with his hands. He bobbed his head, enjoying the heavy weight against his tongue and the moans that escaped his boyfriend's mouth.

“Close,” Akiteru-san gasped. Tenma hummed encouragingly in response, doubling his efforts. Cursing, Akiteru-san almost immediately came down Tenma's throat, knuckles going white as he braced himself against the edge of the tub. Tenma swallowed diligently, ignoring the bitter taste and wiping his lips with the back of his hand once he got out of the water.

“We need to drain the tub and rinse ourselves off again,” he said, grinning smugly. “And afterward, we should take this back to the bed.”

“You are a menace.”

“I am _your_ menace now.”

Akiteru-san laughed and pulled the plug.

***

“Oh my god, he really does look like me,” Akiteru-san exclaimed hours later, sitting on the edge of the hotel bed in nothing but his underwear and staring down at Tenma's iPad. Tenma pulled up his own boxer shorts before sitting down next to Akiteru-san.

“I wanted the character to be hot,” he said, shrugging. “And since I've been very preoccupied with thinking about you these past couple of weeks...”

Akiteru-san shook his head in apparent disbelief as he continued to flip through the sketches he'd asked to see after their pillow talk had somehow circled back to how one of Tenma's new character designs was heavily inspired by Akiteru-san.

“I don't think I could even be this flexible,” Akiteru-san muttered as he came across one of the explicitly sexual scenarios Tenma had sketched out, featuring Akiteru-san's lookalike riding a faceless rando.

“Yeah, backs shouldn't bend like that. I was just way too horny when I drew that one. Akaashi-san always says that drawing while horny is strictly forbidden.”

Akiteru-san chuckled. Now that he'd overcome the initial shock of finding out about Tenma's job, he seemed surprisingly chill about the whole “my boyfriend draws porn for a living” thing.

“What's the story going to be about anyway?”

“Well, the working title is _Of serendipity, sex and secrets._ It's about this guy called Mishima who gets his heart broken by his straight friend and decides to just lose his virginity at a gay hookup spot instead. He gets picked up by a rather shady looking dude – who I have yet to name – and is surprised at Shady Dude offering to bottom after he finds out that Mishima is a virgin. They never tell each other their names and go their separate ways afterward but keep running into each other in the most random places, and every time they meet they end up hooking up again. At one of their meetings, Shady Dude gets a call, and from what Mishima hears of the conversation, he seems to be involved with the yakuza, but he decides that he would rather not know. In reality, Shady Dude is just a regular business owner. Then one day, Shady Dude comes across Mishima and his friend in a compromising position. Their misunderstandings ultimately get resolved by Mishima finding the courage to confess to Shady Dude that he's over his broken heart now and ready to start something new.”

“Thank goodness,” Akiteru-san sighed with relief. “I thought you were going to write something more autobiographical.”

“Nah, that's not really my style,” Tenma shrugged. “I try to keep things realistic, but mostly I just create hot characters and think of random scenarios to make them fuck.”

“Well, you're very good at what you do,” Akiteru-san said, setting down the iPad on the bedside table.

“So... it's not going to be an issue then that Mishima looks like you?” Tenma asked, just to make sure. A familiar shade of red suddenly appeared on Akiteru-san's face.

“It's kinda flattering actually,” he admitted, sheepishly scratching the back of his neck.

A grin spread across Tenma's face.

“And it's not gonna be an issue if I wanna try out some of the scenarios I put Mishima in?”

Akiteru-san rolled his eyes and put his arm around Tenma's waist.

“Do you ever think about anything other than sex?”

“Not when you're around.”

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on [Tumblr (only SFW fics will be shared here)](http://gilrael.tumblr.com), [Pillowfort](https://pillowfort.social/Gilrael) and [Twitter (for 18+ followers only)](https://twitter.com/Gilrael92).


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